Strange Days for Squall
by blackdeathmessenger
Summary: A Story between Squall and Selphie, with own characters and mishap included. Viewer Discretion is advised. Also written by evilnaruto15. Rated T for now, may change to M later.


AN: I don't own the rights to the idea for this story, my brother, evilnaruto15 does. Also note, characters may be a little OOC.

Had Better Days

Squall woke up, just like any other day; he pissed, masturbated, showered, got dressed, noticed his scar was tickling, ate breakfast-

'_Wait'_ he thought.

'_There's something I missed; Masturbation, check. Took a piss, check. Showered, check. Scar tickling, check. Ate- wait, go back one...'_

"My scar's tickling?" He shouted, causing everyone to look at him weirdly.

"Shit." He said before he quickly scrambled out of the cafeteria.

Every time his scar tickled something bad happened, like when he burned his mouth on Zell's homemade chili, when he walked in on Zell and Rinoa necking, when he stepped on Zell's pet cricket, or when he "accidentally" cut Zell's favorite shirt in practice. Man, who knew Zell could punch so hard? Or when he drank Zell's super sour lemonade, wait a minute... this all involved Zell! He was going to be smart this time. He knew who it was going to involve, so all he would have to do was avoid Zell for the rest of today if possible.

After his latest mission, he was tired, and had spent all day running after Grats; not normally what he'd do for a mission, but a farmer was being troubled by "a couple of nasty, horrible, disgusting, and huge monsters." So, since Garden had fallen a bit, with less jobs, less money, and less amount in his paycheck, he decided to take the job alone. Plus, who would turn down some old guy, right? Well, all he found was a very large, _very_ muddy rice field and about nine hundred or so Grats, all of which just happened to be extremely fast. Then he was guilt tripped into doing _all_ the farmers work! Man, how he hated old people. _'Damn dirty old man!'_ he shouted in his head.

Later that morning, he went over to Zell's, "Yeah?" Zell said as he answered his dorm room door, "Hey Zell, I need a favor." Squall began "It's about Quistis..."

He then noticed that Zell was not really dressed for, well, anything and immediately threw his hands up to block his view. "Dude, get some fucking clothes on!"

"Oh, sorry." Zell said, finally noticing his own state of undress, and quickly picked something off the floor and put it on.

"You can put your arms down now."

"Much better. Especially since I don't like looking at other dudes naked. Anyway, about why I came -"

"You said it was something about Quistis, right? Well, come in already." Zell said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

As he walked inside the dorm, he carefully noted how clean it was, especially compared the last time, when it was totally trashed, and he slipped on a used condom.

"Have a seat."

Squall sat on the small blue sofa that Squall never remembered being there before, deciding that it was probably Rinoa's idea. He then got bad ideas about what had possibly gone on with said black haired sorceress and repressed a shudder and forced himself to sit there and not think about it.

"Anyway, about that favor…" Squall started. Zell said nothing and looked intently at Squall, waiting to know what he could do for his friend.

"Umm... well, um... you see..."

"Ha hah!" Zell exclaimed and slapped one of his knees.

"Rinoa said this would probably happen! No worries, man, I know what you want."

"Huh? She did? Since when?" Squall asked.

"Huh?" Zell asked as he stopped romping about the room. "Oh, I think she said it last night when we were on that couch screwing."

Squall then jumped up immediately from the small blue sofa and decided he would never again sit down on _anything_ in Zell's room and chose to instead stand in the middle of the room, choosing to ignore the open drawer behind him full of nothing but condoms and open wrappers.

"Zell! Never again say anything about that!" Came a yell from a small girl with black hair from near the door.

Then she walked into the room and noticed Squall, or at least, acted like she just now noticed Squall.

"Hi Squall!" she greeted sweetly.

"Shut up Rinoa." Squall said coldly enough to make everyone else's breath show in midair.

"Huh?" she asked confusedly, wondering why he was suddenly talking like that to her.

"We all know you're a slut, so I think you can stop hiding it from everyone when there's nothing to hide."

She was flabbergasted by his words, and Zell got pissed and almost punched him, but somehow held himself back as he didn't want to get his ass kicked. Squall then abruptly turned on his heel and walked towards the door, and then stopped to say something.

"Zell, thanks for the try, but I think I can handle everything, so don't worry about it." He then opened the door, but then smirked at the last thought and poked his head back inside the door as he was about to leave.

"And you might want to get checked for rabies while you're at it!" he then ducked his head out before a rather large and heavy object hit the door right after it closed.

'_I don't think I'll be going back there for a while'_ he thought as he walked toward his office. _'Well, at least what happened there wasn't quite as bad as what has happened to me before.'_ As he walked, he found a large crowd, with Selphie in the center of it, holding a sign quite a bit bigger then her body. He sighed and then walked through the crowd to get to Selphie and asked, "What is it this time, Selphie?"

"I want the Garden Festival back!" the little brunette in the bright yellow dress yelled.

Squall sighed again. "No. More than once every two years would take too much money. I told you that already."

Selphie then sighed in defeat and lowered her sign. Squall walked towards her and put a hand on her shoulder, and then she raised her sign too high and she hit him in the nuts with her hand. He doubled over from the pain, and thought to himself _'Today just isn't my day.'_

"Oh! I'm sorry Squall! I didn't mean to!" she exclaimed. Luckily for Squall, the crowd had long since dispersed. She did her best to help him into his office after he keyed the code for the door into the panel that sat on the wall, just right of the door. He sat in his chair, still doubled over while Selphie tried to help, though she wasn't doing a great job by panicking.

"Selphie, stop panicking." She quickly stopped running around like a chicken with its head cut off. "Now, if you really want to help me, get me a bottle of water." She ran out of the room and returned running into his office with a bottle of water that she opened before she handed it to him. She noticed he was still doubled over, but not quite as far as he was when she ran out of the room.

"Thanks" he said, taking the cold bottle of water and drinking a quarter of the contents before he placed it on the desk.

"I'm sorry Squall, it was an accident." Selphie apologized.

"Selphie, calm down. I think I'll be fine, so don't worry so much, just get that damn sign away from me." Squall said while pointing at the sign that lay forgotten on the floor.

"A-alright." Selphie then went and picked up the sign and walked through the door with a wave and another 'sorry'.

_'Whew. At least something's going to be normal today.'_ He thought to himself. The pain from the sign, had since faded, leaving him in a dark and silent office. He then got up and turned on the light before turning on his CD player that sat on one side of his desk, and tuned it to the death metal station before he got to the large stack of papers that sat in his inbox as always.

Meanwhile:

Selphie, Irvine and Quistis all sat around a table in the cafeteria eating lunch, while Selphie focused more on her thoughts then the food in front of her. Not that she was a big eater anyway, but she usually didn't go hungry unless it was something big. Irvine and Quistis noticed when they were halfway finished with their own lunches.

"Penny for yer thoughts Selph?" The cowboy asked.

"Hm?" Asked the short brunette.

"What's wrong Selphie? Usually you eat more of your food, so what's wrong?" added Quistis

"Well….I dunno…I hit Squall in the balls on accident earlier, and I kinda noticed how alone he's been since Rinoa left him for Zell…"

"That's just how he's always been."

"I know, but, lately, I dunno….I just get a feeling like he's missing something in his life, and I wanna try to help him. What do you guys think?" Asked Selphie.

"I dunno Selph, what did ya have in mind? How do you propose to help him anyway? Set him on a blind date or somethin'?"

"That wouldn't work." Quistis quickly quipped in. "It would have to be someone he has feelings for, or at least know on some level. "

"What about you, Quisty?" Asked Selphie.

"Oh no, not me!" And the tall blonde raised her hands in defense. "It would never work between him and I, and he feels more like a brother to me than anything. I couldn't do it."

"Hmmm…." Thought Selphie aloud.

"What about you Selph? You two always got along pretty well. At least, I think so. And you always get away with more than any of us could, so there must be something there."

Quistis and Selphie look at the cowboy dumbfounded.

"What? Am I not allowed to have a brain too?"

The two women just shake their head in agreement, thinking the same thing: _'Now if only you used it more.'_

And that was when the brunette realized something. It could possibly work between them. After all, opposites attract, right? Well, that was her thinking anyway. Then she got to thinking more.

'_Well, I have known him a long time, and I know what he's like… And he is kinda cute…. And strong, and gets a pretty good paycheck…. Hmmm…. Maybe it's worth a try?'_

Quistis and Irvine just looked at each other before silently communicating to each other with a nod of their heads that they knew what she was thinking.

"How can we help ya Selph?" Asked Irvine

"Well, I think I have a bit of a plan." Said Selphie as she smirked in a devilish way that meant it might actually work.

In Squall's office:

'Finally.' Squall thought as he put all the morning paperwork in his outbox, which was on the other side of his desk from the inbox. He then stood and stretched thoroughly after sitting for so long. He then decided it was lunch time while the afternoon papers were going to be a light load tonight.

Walking into the cafeteria, he saw Selphie, Quistis and Irvine sitting around a table talking in hushed tones like they were planning something, though he wasn't sure since Selphie look kidna sad. At the moment though, Squall didn't care. He just wanted food.

Squall walked up the lunch lady, and said, "The usual please."

"Sorry, all out. We have hotdogs though." _'It's a miracle; not running out of hotdogs for a day.'_ He thought sarcastically to himself.

"Fine, I'll have 4 with relish and mustard."

After he got the hotdogs, he sat down somewhere between Selphie and the two miscreants and the door. As he finished his last hot dog, Selphie came over to his table, looking a bit like she did when she left his office this morning, though without any signs in her hands.

"Hey Squall, err…Commander…"

"Yes?" he asked once he finished his last bite.

"Can we talk? I just wanna talk to you for a little bit." She replied with a sadder tone then normal.

"Alright. Let go back to my office though. I don't like being watched by everyone." Squall replied and everyone turned back to their own business. Squall got up and put the tray on top of a stack of tray's on a trashcan near the door as Selphie followed.

Sitting on Squall's couch in his office, and him sitting next to her, he asked, "Okay, what's wrong Selphie?" Squall asked. However, the only answer he received was that of her crying. When she only cried, he wasn't sure what to do, and she could tell, so she just lunged towards him and wrapped her arms around him as she cried on his chest.

Unsure what else to do, he slowly put his arms around her as she cried, and eventually started stroking her hair and back.

'_Right on cue…'_ Thought Selphie, enjoying being in his arms more then she thought she would. _'Now to sink him in further.'_

"W-what happened was… I a-asked Irvine o-out, and he, w-well, rejected m-m-me…" she managed to stutter out between sobs, and she managed to cry even harder into Squall's shirt.

Not knowing what the truth was, it could kind of make sense… She did look pretty sad when her, Irvine, and Quistis were talking. And she might have just been trying to figure out why. They were also talking in hushed tones too…. And anything said aloud around the garden was news somewhere, so best to keep something like that as quiet as possible.

At that point, he was sure it wasn't a trick, so he pulled her closer to him. He also just realized how close she was and developed a problem in the front of his pants, which he was sure she could feel.

Then a loud knock was at the door, and Squall's scar tingled a little. _'Probably Xu with the afternoon reports. Crap.'_

"Squall?" Came a voice from outside the door, confirming his suspicion. He wanted to respond, but didn't wanna make too much noise as Selphie was now sleeping on him, and didn't want to wake her. He tried moving a little, but nothing. She was dead weight at this point. His scar started tingled again, right as the door started opening wide.

Right inside the doorway stood a flabbergasted Xu, who had just dropped the recent reports all over the floor and soe of the hallway outside the door at the sight of Selphie sleeping on Squall's chest.

"It's not what it looks like. She was having troubles earlier, and started crying, and -" but he was cut off when Quistis walked in behind Xu, wondering why there were reports in the hallway, when she saw the scene that had made the second in command drop something.

"Oh. My. God." Was all that either Quistis or Xu could say in response to the sight. _'It's working!'_ thought Quistis to herself, but had to continue acting.

"As I was just explaining, it's not what it looks like." Squall's scar started tingling more and more. He knew this was gonna spread around Garden like wildfire.

"I think I'll just, uhh, be leaving." Both Xu and Quistis said in perfect time with each other.

At that moment, Selphie moaned a little and turned the other direction in Squall's arms, dooming him further as Quistis and Xu were still in the process of leaving when it happened.

Squall slapped his forehead and wondered how things could get worse. Then his scar tingled and Zell entered the office.

'_Crap.'_

AN: Sorry to leave it at that, but figured I had to stop for another chapter to add some humor to as the end of this one was getting hard to add humor to. Hopefully, everyone appreciates my efforts, and some story ideas are always a must, so if you happen to have a story idea for me, please share =)


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